because i don't know what to feel & say.
i'm a very complicated person. hard to understand. i always make people around me feel guilty. i gave my friend a rough time. always ignore them. pretend that i'm the only person with problem. i'm a drama queen. always think i'm right. never forgive and forget.
come on aqilah!
what else..
the truth is.
~ i'm not complicated. i 'm the simplest person. i talk a lot, love a lot. i said what i want & want what i say.
~ i'm easy to understand. i don't talk when i'm angry. for me what ever 'word' you utter when you are angry suck! & i'm afraid it'll hurt you more then it hurt me. & i dont go around selling the story of my life. because only the special one know when i'm hurt, when i'm happy and when i'm moody.
~ i always make people around me feel guilty? what does it mean????? just because u think i think that you don't understand me, do not mean that i wanna make you feel guilty. when i'm in trouble i need my time. my own SPACE to figure things out.
~ i give my friend a rough time? hell yeah! because you give me hell. only the real one will know who am i. not everyone know how to deal with me. i always tell you guys what i want. & when i dont means i'm not ready to talk. simple as A B C!
~ i dont ignore you. you yourself is busy. i have my own problem to think about. like i say, i choose my family above everything.
~ what the fish?!! yours is not as big as mine! that's one thing for sure. i dont just shut and isolate myself from you. you must have hurt and make me feel offended first. that's why i choose to step away from you! i know you have a lot of problems compare to me. yes, what i'm facing right now is not as important as yours. yeah! because i'm never been important to people.
~ of course. i'm taking drama class this year! hmm.. get to know me. ask what i want. be truthful to me. then you'll see the best in me.
~ everybody did that right? and even you did that. but thanks for not coming to me and tell me what you actually feel about me. thanks for not acting like a friend, not even trying to set things straight.
~ the problem with forgiveness is that it is well remembered. i just let go. that's the best thing to do.
* there are time i felt like my friend is using me. but i dont care. they are my friend. there are time i felt like i'm nobody, but my friend make me feel like i'm home. go ahead, say what you want about me. because all i wanna do right now is work my life right.
p/s: to my best friend, pendi prada gucci armani (whatever!) miss you like crazy. just want to go back to our good old days!
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