Wednesday, September 28, 2011

the ugly truth...

hakikat sebuah persahabatan...

kadang2 kita kesah dengan apa yang orang cakap pasal kita walaupun kita sering sebut ' AAK' (ada aku kesah??!!). so, moralnya? jangan cakap sangat dengan orang. diorang nie bukan tahu apa yang kita alami walaupon mereka ini berulang- ulang kali cakap ' aku paham ape yang ko alami'... motipp!!!

dari semalam, selepas berdiskusi, mengumpat dengan rakan terdekat sampai keluar air liur basi, aku come out dengan konklusi. ' wat je ape yang aku rasa betul. stop being the victim. stop crying, it wont stop anything!'

tadi masa class PTP dgn dr. raja, (lepas kena ceramah dengan geng2, baru aku semangat nak belajar!) tengah2 aku sibuk nak salin note, shanti aka geng bing0 aka geng nasi lemak gua mintak note b00k aku. aku bagi la. nak tau tak ape yang dia tulis???

aqill my friend =)

i do my thing, and you do your thing,
i am not up to this world to live up to your expectations,
and you are nothing this world to live up to mine,
you are you, and i am i,
and if by any chance, we find each other, it's beautiful.
if not, it cant be help.

by: fritz perls

i got this somewhere, and i feel it's some sort of reminder of who you are and what you are. you are unique and people dont have to judge you. hope it can be an inspirational quote to you. i have made it mine.

shanti, 'fren of bing0'

suddenly i feel tear falling from my eyes. hmmm.... i've been weaken myself so much till i forget how strong i actually am. like my mr. adviser said, if i dont trust in myself, trust in him who trust in me. 
cant believe i need someone else to bring out the best in me. thanks guys! you help me a lot.

Monday, September 26, 2011

i hurt him....

i will stop talking to you.
because i know i'll hurt you..
i will stop seeing you.
because i know you don't want to look at my face.
i will stop texting you,
because i know you are busy with your work.
i will stop thinking about you,
because i know you didn't think about me.

thank you for the talk before,
thank you for the smile before,
thank you for the time before,
thank you for the thought before.
thank you for everything.

Assalamualaikum. :)

my mr. adviser put this on his status..
it makes me cry because i hurt his feeling yesterday. ~sigh~
does he know how i'm dying to talk to him?
hear his joke..
knowing he knows how to make me smile?
but talking to him, seeing him only hurts me because then i'll be thinking about my other friends.

i'm not strong my brother... really not  strong right now.
how can i hurt or forget those who make me smile when the rest of the world make me cry?
forget you will be the last thing i'll do.
believe me....
at this very moment, i'm hurting myself.
when i'm able to heal my heart, mend my soul, i'll ask forgiveness from you..
till then, i'll keep you in my heart..
hope you'll still care for me...

Friday, September 23, 2011

ends of a beautiful friendship.....

an honest answer is a sign of true friend.

wow... i always know that Allah knows the best. the very best! everything falls right in position... right when my doctor advise me to stop stress myself out or face the consequence, i feel really stress...

so freaking stress....

i'm just going to be me.
a  person who always hurt her friends' feeling, an annoying person, a very arrogant friend.
yup... i'm that right from the begining.

and for you just, i pray the very best in your future. thanks for making me happy. thanks for letting me know i'm worth it. thanks for actually care. thanks for making me smile.

and now, thanks a lot for walking away from me.

love you guys and always will miss you.

* to my reader, if you guys find my entry lately are personal and emotional that would be because i'm mending my own sole. insyallah i'll be back again, just give me sometime.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

waiting for superman...

waiting for superman...

The stronger the faith you have the more difficult the tests and trials you will face

assalamualaikum and hello there...

somebody asked me something yesterday. a very common question, yet i fail to provide answer for that question each time. ' what do i want?'




hmmmmm.... ~sigh~

firstly, i want not to want him. yes! i want not to want him. this feeling inside really kills me. i know i rather love than hurting people but if loving him hurts me why should i stay? i'm just a girl who stand in front a person asking him to love me. too bad he did not hear me.

second, i wanna be happy. i have every right to live a beautiful and happy life. those who choose to 'unfriend' me please, go ahead! be my guest!!!!  just leave me alone. stop look at me, stop talk to me and stop think about me. just walk!!!! dont make me feel like i'm the one who done wrong things to you when you are the one who are killing me softly.

third, finish everything now. god, please make them stop!!!

i'm waiting for my superman. waiting for someone to save me. because right now i'm not strong enough to save myself. 
thanks to ct, puan ros and yufi for keeping me strong. hope i can go on......
really pray i've my mama back. ya Allah, please keep her by myside. right now, she's all i need. all i want!

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